“I’m the Man” Songs, or Tunes to Do Your Hair By

So, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this (utterly fake, completely in my own head only) subgenre of soul tracks I like to call “I’m the Man” songs.

What’s an I’m the Man (ITM) song? Well, for my money, there’s a certain kind of track that you just have to put on when you’re ready to head out the door on a Friday or Saturday night, a kind of track that makes you stand up straighter, check yourself out in the mirror, and undo that top button just for the hell of it (and maybe the next two, too–why else would you spend $75 on a bra if no one’s gonna see it?!). Its the kind of track they put in a blaxploitation flick, when the lead badass is walking down the street, and all the dealers and ho’s are jumping out of the way of this supernova of cool while admiring his tailor at the same time. Its not the kind of track you do dishes by; its the kind of track you do your hair to, right before that all-important 3rd date. You know what I mean. Its the kind of song that makes you look yourself in the mirror and go, “Fuck yeah–I’m the man!”. Even if you’re a woman.

Its been awhile since I did a record entry here, and there’s a new Soul Hangover coming up on December 17 at the Plough, so I figure we’re overdue! So here’s my vote for my current favorite ITM number: Chairman of the Board, by the Chairmen of the Board.

Now, nothing quite says “I’m the Man” like writing a song about yourself and naming it after your band, that’s a given. But this is one hell of a meaty groove besides. Its also a million miles away from the tightly-wound pop-soul perfection of their bigger hits like Pay the Piper; or the radio-friendly sweetness of Give Me Just A Little More Time or Everything’s Tuesday; or even their later, kinda-weird 70s funk freakout-cum-gospel period (Working On A Building of Love, On My Way to A Better Place). The only thing it really comes close to is ’72’s Elmo James, and even that’s not really that close, its just in the same general neighborhood. The Chairmen of the Board were a band that always sounded like 3 or 4 different bands at any given time–sometimes on the same single even, as with the Give Me Just A Little More Time/Since The Days of Pigtails split. But this track stands out even so as a totally different turn.

Mostly, it stands out because its simple, terribly sloppy, raucously produced and performed, and either because of or in spite of all this, its genius.

Maybe I should back up here and tell a little about the Chairmen, for the uninitiated. In 1967, Holland-Dozier-Holland beat feet from Motown, and started their own label, Invictus. One of the first artists they courted was General Norman Johnson. If you love soul, you probably know his tune “39-21-46″, perhaps one of the greatest record label misprints in vinyl history (the lyric was actually “39-21-40 shape”, not the much more prodigiously-hipped “46″, but the sound engineer and everyone else misheard Johnson’s articulation and an ode to a big-bottomed gal was born). Holland-Dozier-Holland teamed Johnson up with three other singers, Eddie Custis, Danny Woods and Harrison Kennedy, and the Chairmen were Invictus’ first main act, followed quickly by Freda Payne. The group had an impressive string of hits, including their first and biggest selling, the syrupy earworm Give Me Just a Little More Time–a tune we’re still being tortured with on oldies radio today.

Although Johnson was clearly the main singer (not to mention songwriter), and his hiccupy falsetto became what the group was known for, all the other guys in the group took turns at lead. In the case of “Chairman of the Board”, the man at the mic was Canadian Harrison Kennedy, who both then and now considered himself far more of a raw, gutbucket blues man than the Pips-dancing sweets H-D-H wanted the Chairmen to be. Kennedy didn’t get too many turns on lead (Johnson and Custis’ sweeter voices got a lot more airtime), and for my money a lot of the furor and wail in this track sounds like a pent up wave of something terrible, and damn if the dam didn’t just break. As a former backup singer myself who got the occasional lead track thrown my way, I know what kind of passion you can pour into every phrase when you don’t get that many of ‘em, and that’s what comes through here. The instrumentation is straight up bar blues, in the best possible, non-”blooze” way, with a swagger to it that’s just looking for a fight. I believe its Kennedy playing the gritty harp breaks as well, digging in at every opportunity, and when he sings, “I think I’m gonna blow…let me blow it for ya one time,” I think he’s telling, not asking.

Chairman of the Board was a moderate hit, going as high as #10 on the US R&B chart and #42 on the US Hot 100. The LP from which it came, 1970’s In Session, is a hitmonster from start to finish and the highest charting album of the group’s career. But Kennedy left the group around 1972, and fell pretty much off the radar as far as I can tell, resurfacing only about 7 or 8 years ago with some critically acclaimed traditional blues recordings. He tours again now, mostly in Canada, performing country blues and telling stories, and by all accounts he’s aged like fine wine. But as much as I love tracks like Since the Days of Pigtails, there’s only one CotB track that’ll make me pull on my stockings, go for the higher heels, and make me want to slug whiskey and break men in half, and that’s “Chairman of the Board”. So thanks Mr. Kennedy, for not being the sweet one. Neither am I.